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Sure, here’s a reimagined version of that article, keeping it personal and quirky:
So, it’s July, right? And maybe you’re just lounging around, wondering what to play next, when bam—PlayStation Store decides to throw this massive sales party. Not gonna lie, the discounts are pretty intense. Especially if you’re into PS5 and PS4 games. I stumbled on this by accident while failing to find my other sock, but it’s been a good distraction.
Returnal: Snag it for Almost Half Nothing
Okay, so there’s this game, Returnal. Ever heard of it? Yeah, neither had I until my friend wouldn’t shut up about it. Anyway, it’s like 58% off now. You could shell out $29.39 instead of, uh, $70? Who even has that much for a game these days? But hey, the sale doesn’t last forever—just until July 17 at a super weird time, like 2:59 a.m. ET? Honestly, who decided that?
Picture this: you crash on some weird alien rock, and your character, Selene—that’s her name—she’s in a loop. Die, restart, try not to scream at the screen. Oh, and everything changes—like, every single time you play. Planet, gear, tactics—you name it, it’s new. The cycle of what feels like doom but is also kind of oddly addictive.
Now, here’s where it gets nerdy. When Returnal first came out in 2021, people said nice things. It scored an average of 86, according to Metacritic, which apparently is a big deal? Critics went all dreamy-eyed over it, handing out awards left, right, and center. I mean, Best Action Game at The Game Awards 2021? That’s no small potatoes. And the sound—I can still hear the awards clinking. No idea why, but I can.
And, ahem, let’s not forget a certain ahem someone gave it a perfect 10 out of 10. Yeah, it was us. I don’t usually trust reviews, but maybe this time it’s spot on. It’s got this rogue-like thing going with bullet-hell chaos, and somehow that makes it, how do you say, thrilling yet comfortably familiar. The story? Keeps you on your toes, like when you’re waiting for toast to pop but with more lasers and aliens.
So, if you’re up for it and seeking something fresh, and if digital aliens don’t freak you out too much, maybe give it a whirl. Or, you know, continue the sock search. Whatever floats your boat.
