Episode 929: James Jones – Neanderthal Art Critic – Radio Free Nintendo

I’m looking at this big, hairy creature, and I’m like, “Wait, this is a masterpiece? Seriously?” The bloated, cartoonish aurochs on the wall just ain’t doing it for me. Montignac-Lascaux art, think between 20,000 and 10,000 years old, got this flair, right? Thanks to the Magdalenian people. Now, Neanderthals—those guys—might have been dabbling in art before they went extinct, about 40,000 years ago, but it’s mostly in Spain where they left their mark. Their version of creativity? Handprints, dots, and a ladder motif. Kinda like they were scribbling graffiti before it was cool. Not like I’m knocking it, but, you know, survival rate of their art is, well, patchy.

And I’m just riffing here, okay? Zero research commitment—except to make sure I got “Magdalenian” and “Montignac-Lascaux” right. So if you’re fact-checking, congrats, you’re more dedicated than I am.

Now, picture a modern James, minus the caveman look, critiquing like it’s an art show with a time-traveling edge, more laughable than “Hot Tub Time Machine” ever was.

Alright, so THIS WEEK, Jon gets his hands on the new Switch 2. Yup, from bestbuy.com—or was it some secret underground tech lair? Doesn’t matter. What matters is he’s deep into Mario Kart World. Everybody, I swear, is tangled up in this game. Shells flying left, right, and center. Jon, poor guy, sitting all Zen-like, getting pelted by red shells. Life’s absurdly tranquil sometimes.

Oh, and did you hear? Splatoon dropped a new single-player gig. What a twist in the gaming soap opera.

And then—I’m already losing track—Guillaume is on fire about F-Zero GX, now on that NSO Expansion Pack for Switch 2. I’m gonna be real; his enthusiasm is murderously intense. Plus, he’s been diving into Valfaris—a game that’s like a metal concert caught in a shooter’s body. Guns, enemies, violence, rinse, repeat.

Greg, on the other hand, dove into the latest Splatoon 3 patch for the Switch 2. Talks about HDR and that super-stable framerate like it’s the holy grail. Kudos to Nintendo for not naming it “super-stable framerate,” but they should. free marketing idea right there.

Once more.

Finally, there’s me—James, your trusty commentator—navigating the Switch 2 version of Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. I’ve faced time thieves of all sorts—kids, bureaucrats, you name it—but never a kid who pilfers time. Intriguing stuff.

Oh, wait—ANYWAY. It’s mostly tutorial fluff for now. I’ll have more on this next time, assuming I don’t get sidetracked by other life dramas. Who knows?

Drop your ancient doodles in the suggestion box.