Okay, let’s dive in.
So, “Cat From Hell – Cat Simulator” by Upscale Studios, right? Sounds like a wild ride full of cats causing chaos with a holly-jolly twist. I mean, the idea of a cat and Christmas tunes makes you think of frolicking felines and “Jingle Bells,” doesn’t it? Yeah, well, it sort of misses the mark. But let’s break it down a bit.
You dive into the game and — surprise, surprise — you’re a cat on a mission to wreck Grandma’s house. I’m talking about tipping over vases, clawing at curtains like a maestro, and basically giving those dusty heirlooms a one-way trip to shattered-ville. You’re the cat every grumpy grandparent fears.
Picture this: Christmas Eve, snow probably falling somewhere, and Santa decides to make your life “fun” by dropping off another furball. This new cat goes all rowdy, tips a vase, and somehow you get blamed. So now, it’s all about payback — set the stage like you’re in a feline drama and get that other kitty booted from the house. Of course, Granny’s watching with hawk eyes, so mess up, and it’s game over.
Now, ideally, you’re sneaking around, creating havoc, and making sure it’s the other cat that gets the boot, not you. Like a slapstick comedy, but with paws. In concept, it sounds like a good time, right? Well, here’s where the whole plan sort of collapses.
You’ll find the game suffering from sort of annoying problems where the characters get stuck behind furniture, like they’ve suddenly forgotten how their legs work. It’s Wile E. Coyote running in place but not funny. You just end up twiddling your thumbs, waiting for Grandma to give up her fruitless wandering.
It’s supposed to be strategic — plotting your little acts of mischief while pinning the blame on Mr. Furry Trouble — but stuff doesn’t play out as it should. Maybe the blame hits the wrong cat, or maybe none at all. Once, I sort of “won” because the rival kitty somehow got absorbed by a couch, standing still like a frozen statue — poor grandma had no other suspects!
And the visuals… oh boy. Feels like taking a time machine to the good ol’ PlayStation 2 days. Clunky animations, low-res graphics, and dialogue that sounds like you’re listening through a tin can. Except for the remixed main tune — which is probably the only thing keeping your soul in the festive spirit.
Trophy-wise, this game leaves trophy hunters high and dry. No Platinum. Some minor trophies maybe, for doing cat stuff. And there’s a Sandbox Mode if you feel like noodling around without, uh, consequences. It’s just you, Granny, and, well… whatever’s left of the house.
Honestly, went in expecting a goofy escape, came out thinking the darn thing is held together with duct tape. Mechanics trip over themselves, and the PlayStation 5 treatment does it no favors. Even at a price that sounds like a steal, it’s hard to justify. Like buying discount socks – you get what you pay for.
Oh, and full disclosure, got this game courtesy of Upscale Studios for the review.